Corrupt a Wish game

I'm super-bored and I noticed this game hasn't been made yet, so...

Here's how you play: Basically, the person who posted above you made a wish and you grant it. However, you must also corrupt the wish. Then, you make your own wish. Example:

Post 1: I wish for a pony!
Post 2: Granted, but it's the ugliest stinkiest pony the world's ever seen. I wish for a Wii U!
Post 3: Granted, but it gets stolen after you buy so many games on it. I wish I could eat cheese (I'm allergic)!
Post 4: Granted, but all you taste when you do so is cardboard. I wish for a pet fox!

And so on. I'll start by making a wish.

I wish I could fly!

You fly! Straight into the turbine of a 747!

I wish I had a job.

Granted, but you kind of suck at it

I wish for a gem!

Granted, but the gem gets cracked within an hour of you getting it

I wish I could eat whatever and still be at a healthy weight

Granted but it turns out, you don't have a taste for anything at all; nothing sounds good!

I wish I had cake!

Granted but it's the dryest cake ever; there's not even any frosting!

I wish Rebecca Sugar wasn't so evil and planning on crushing all our souls

I don't want to grant this wish because I like feels...so...

Granted but you're unhappy that you're not having feels anymore over Steven Universe!

I wish to have a flower garden.

Granted! They're all rafflesias.

I wish that I didn't have to go to class in a couple of hours.

Granted. You don't have to. But you miss something that's worth 99.9% of your grade and you can't make it up.

I wish I was a gem

Granted. You're one of the dead ones.

I wish that I had a super cool car!

Granted, but it's only cool on the outside. It breaks down a minute after you use it, and it'll cost you a million.

I wish to be better at Japanese!

Granted, but you can't put proper sentences together. You know what all the words are, but when you try to speak you end up saying gibberish like "what taco to gem like a poof".

I wish I had my own computer instead of having to borrow my boyfriends.

Granted, but its super old and slow!
I wish I could work on the Crewniverse team creating steven universe episodes!

Granted. The episode you create soon becomes the most hated by fans, and CN has no choice but to cancel the show after the backlash.

I wish that Bill Cipher was here...

Granted, but he'll make a deal with you to remove you from existence - permanently.

I wish I was able to draw my own characters without hating the end product.

Granted, but you can never show the drawings to others
I wish i could hang out with Steven

Granted, but you can't hang out with everyone else.

I wish someone would kill me.